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Derek is pretty much the absolute worst when it comes to apologies. It's that Hale family pride, mixed with the fact that Derek breaks everything he touches and it's easier (or so he tells himself) to just not connect. But there are lines even he can't ignore. Like needing so badly to make sure that Isaac, at least Isaac, was away from him, was safe, that he'd lashed out. He'd hurt him in the one way he promised him he never would.

He doesn't say the words I'm sorry, but he talks gruffly in circles around them, trying to seem unconcerned, even though he's not. He needs Isaac to forgive him, to understand even though Derek won't explain. He knows that Isaac deserves more, deserves better than this, but it's all Derek knows how to give.

He's not sure if Isaac steps in too close, or if Derek steps back, but somehow, they get drawn in like magnets until Derek's leaning against the edge of his desk with the Beta so close kissing is like a promise. But they don't; hands pulling shirts from skin, and Derek's fingers tremble with impatience, like a jittery teenager. He hates the way slender fingers burn on his flesh, make him shake, but Isaac always seems to get under his skin. Usually Derek has enough control to pretend otherwise.

Tonight he just buries his face into one thin shoulder and nips with too-sharp teeth as hands palm almost reverently down bare skin. Worship with fingertips is another sort of apology.

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Derek Hale

September 2013

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