For freezerburned

[tsunwolf]

Derek is pretty much the absolute worst when it comes to apologies. It's that Hale family pride, mixed with the fact that Derek breaks everything he touches and it's easier (or so he tells himself) to just not connect. But there are lines even he can't ignore. Like needing so badly to make sure that Isaac, at least Isaac, was away from him, was safe, that he'd lashed out. He'd hurt him in the one way he promised him he never would.

He doesn't say the words I'm sorry, but he talks gruffly in circles around them, trying to seem unconcerned, even though he's not. He needs Isaac to forgive him, to understand even though Derek won't explain. He knows that Isaac deserves more, deserves better than this, but it's all Derek knows how to give.

He's not sure if Isaac steps in too close, or if Derek steps back, but somehow, they get drawn in like magnets until Derek's leaning against the edge of his desk with the Beta so close kissing is like a promise. But they don't; hands pulling shirts from skin, and Derek's fingers tremble with impatience, like a jittery teenager. He hates the way slender fingers burn on his flesh, make him shake, but Isaac always seems to get under his skin. Usually Derek has enough control to pretend otherwise.

Tonight he just buries his face into one thin shoulder and nips with too-sharp teeth as hands palm almost reverently down bare skin. Worship with fingertips is another sort of apology.

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[freezerburned]

Isaac had never expected an apology, nor does he necessarily want one. He's not used to hearing them- not from Derek, not from his friends, and sure as hell not from his father before his death. He doesn't know what he'd do with one, and so when things fold again and when Derek and Isaac find themselves in the same room after he'd been kicked out, Isaac just accepts it for what it is.

He's long since accepted the fact that he's a pawn in the grand scheme of things. Even if Derek won't say it directly, a beta can hardly be expected to alter the course of things. He doesn't matter, not as much as someone like Scott- or even Allison, who has experience and tools at her disposal. He can't change the tides, he knows that. He knows, equally well that this means he can't expect others to care about him or his feelings- and it's just as well, because Isaac has never particularly known what to do with pity.

And this is why the sudden shift in dynamic comes as a surprise to him. Isaac doesn't even really know who makes the first move, he just knows that it's there, and maybe there's a reason that he's forgiven Derek without ever being offered an apology. Isaac is surprised, slightly unsure of what's happening and what it means, but he's not going to stop it. Not now, at least, not when Derek's fingers are sliding up his shirt, hands pressed like burning against his skin, and it makes him tremble without really even knowing why.

But he returns it. Without a second thought, like it's some kind of an instinct and you're supposed to be loyal to your alpha, but Isaac is starting to think that this is a different sort of thing altogether. His own fingers pull up Derek's shirt, trying to pry it away from skin and get over his head- and the desk edge is pressing hard against the small of his back and they might have to fix that soon, but not now- now all he wants is Derek's scent, his touch and teeth that seem to set off a warmth in his skin that he never quite knew existed before.

[tsunwolf]

Isaac isn't a pawn, at least not to Derek. He'd needed a pack, the numbers, the stability, but Isaac had been different. He'd been Derek's best choice, and he meant so much that he couldn't think of anything worse than hurting him. As shaky footing as he and Scott were on sometimes, he trusted him to keep Isaac safe. Make sure that no one hurt him -- including Derek. But he's here and he's warm against Derek's body and it draws a murmur from his lips. This moment is like an inversion of what should be happening, but he can't bring himself to care. Tall, lanky body that he can hold close.

Derek is almost surprised by how much he wants this, but it bubbles up like a geyser, repressed feelings he hasn't allowed himself to have. He couldn't allow himself this softness, the space to exist like this when Isaac was with him, was his Beta. Derek isn't sure that he deserves to be forgiven for what he did, but that's a conversation that they're apparently incapable of having.

Derek pauses, with Isaac's shirt halfway up that lean torso. He pauses to help the teen, let the blond pull his shirt off, come off over his head. That accomplished he's finishing what he started, pulling Isaac's off and then dropping it to the floor. It's dropping the old dynamic and letting it shatter on the floor; Derek doesn't know what he's getting himself into, why he isn't stopping it, except that it just feels too good.

He doesn't kiss him, not really, but he presses lips to his collarbone and lets his cheek and the stubble of his jaw drag against the teen's skin.

"Isaac..." And words lapse into silence because there's nothing he can say without risking ruining whatever fragile thing this is that hangs between them.

[freezerburned]

Isaac certainly doesn't mind when Derek tugs his shirt off, even if a part of him still doesn't exactly understand why they're doing this or what this might change. And- to be honest, when Derek's mouth slides against his collarbone, Isaac finds that he really doesn't care about the ramifications of what this might bring. He just wants- wants him, and there's a part of him that still feels like he'd do anything to please Derek, a part of him that still looks up to the other man like his acceptance and admiration is something to be earned.

His fingers slip up, carding through the hair on the back of Derek's head. It's too short to really grip at, but he touches him anyway, keeping him close, rocking his body up against the alpha's when he just can't take the separation anymore. Derek's body is thick and warm, and something about him still smells like home in all of the good, half-forgotten ways.

"-yeah. Yeah, I know," he murmurs, because he understands the intent even if he can't communicate in words. There are too many emotions between the two of them, too much regret, failure, anger, and... yeah, maybe a little lust. Right now, that's eclipsing the guilt in the back of his mind, giving him the courage to lean in and press a kiss against Derek's lips.

It's not really assertive or controlling- if anything, Isaac is tentative, curious, a little apprehensive. Because this is Derek, and even though Isaac knows that Derek would never go this far unless he means it, there's still a part of him that worries, for some reason, that Derek will push him away again.

To be honest, it's not a concern without grounds. He's been pushed away before- sharply, violently- but he can't stop himself from coming back, not when Derek looks at him with those eyes, touches him with endlessly warm fingers. He can't bring himself to stay away, not when Derek so obviously needs him and won't admit it.