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freezerburned
Sep. 24th, 2013 04:16 amtsunwolfDerek is pretty much the absolute worst when it comes to apologies. It's that Hale family pride, mixed with the fact that Derek breaks everything he touches and it's easier (or so he tells himself) to just not connect. But there are lines even he can't ignore. Like needing so badly to make sure that Isaac, at least Isaac, was away from him, was safe, that he'd lashed out. He'd hurt him in the one way he promised him he never would.
He doesn't say the words I'm sorry, but he talks gruffly in circles around them, trying to seem unconcerned, even though he's not. He needs Isaac to forgive him, to understand even though Derek won't explain. He knows that Isaac deserves more, deserves better than this, but it's all Derek knows how to give.
He's not sure if Isaac steps in too close, or if Derek steps back, but somehow, they get drawn in like magnets until Derek's leaning against the edge of his desk with the Beta so close kissing is like a promise. But they don't; hands pulling shirts from skin, and Derek's fingers tremble with impatience, like a jittery teenager. He hates the way slender fingers burn on his flesh, make him shake, but Isaac always seems to get under his skin. Usually Derek has enough control to pretend otherwise.
Tonight he just buries his face into one thin shoulder and nips with too-sharp teeth as hands palm almost reverently down bare skin. Worship with fingertips is another sort of apology.
He doesn't say the words I'm sorry, but he talks gruffly in circles around them, trying to seem unconcerned, even though he's not. He needs Isaac to forgive him, to understand even though Derek won't explain. He knows that Isaac deserves more, deserves better than this, but it's all Derek knows how to give.
He's not sure if Isaac steps in too close, or if Derek steps back, but somehow, they get drawn in like magnets until Derek's leaning against the edge of his desk with the Beta so close kissing is like a promise. But they don't; hands pulling shirts from skin, and Derek's fingers tremble with impatience, like a jittery teenager. He hates the way slender fingers burn on his flesh, make him shake, but Isaac always seems to get under his skin. Usually Derek has enough control to pretend otherwise.
Tonight he just buries his face into one thin shoulder and nips with too-sharp teeth as hands palm almost reverently down bare skin. Worship with fingertips is another sort of apology.
no subject
Date: 2013-09-29 07:27 am (UTC)His fingers slip up, carding through the hair on the back of Derek's head. It's too short to really grip at, but he touches him anyway, keeping him close, rocking his body up against the alpha's when he just can't take the separation anymore. Derek's body is thick and warm, and something about him still smells like home in all of the good, half-forgotten ways.
"-yeah. Yeah, I know," he murmurs, because he understands the intent even if he can't communicate in words. There are too many emotions between the two of them, too much regret, failure, anger, and... yeah, maybe a little lust. Right now, that's eclipsing the guilt in the back of his mind, giving him the courage to lean in and press a kiss against Derek's lips.
It's not really assertive or controlling- if anything, Isaac is tentative, curious, a little apprehensive. Because this is Derek, and even though Isaac knows that Derek would never go this far unless he means it, there's still a part of him that worries, for some reason, that Derek will push him away again.
To be honest, it's not a concern without grounds. He's been pushed away before- sharply, violently- but he can't stop himself from coming back, not when Derek looks at him with those eyes, touches him with endlessly warm fingers. He can't bring himself to stay away, not when Derek so obviously needs him and won't admit it.