There Are Some Things You Can't Walk Away From

[tsunwolf]

He'd figured it would be simple. He'd told McCall, and slipping away with Cora was the easy answer. The past year all condensed down into a duffle bag of clothes and sunglasses; no room for all of his mistakes. It seemed like the best solution, to walk away, go off on their own, leave Scott and Stiles and Isaac and Beacon Hill to their own devices. There was no taking back that he'd screwed up. Saving Cora didn't make up for Boyd and Erica. They were holes in his heart that he didn't think could ever be filled.

They'd saved the last three sacrifices, they'd saved Deucalion from himself, at least for now, and Jennifer had been far beyond saving. He'd heard about the price for the ritual, about Beacon Hills becoming a literal beacon, but he still didn't think he should stay. He could work with Scott, but he'd never be his Beta. Scott had his own pack now, non-traditional as it might be, filled with hunters and Betas and Alphas and a Banshee. It was easy enough to believe that they were better off without him.

Scott could do it better, which was an acidic thought that curled in his chest. No one appreciated it, but he'd tried. He'd done his best, he had tried to be a good leader. He'd made a point to take this most likely to survive the process, to not take the strongest, but the most vulnerable, those who needed the Bite. Isaac, Erica, Boyd... They were people that had been stronger, better as werewolves. He'd wanted to protect them, to keep them safe, to teach them. Their blood was on his hands, except Isaac, who hadn't really been his since he'd sent him away. He'd done too good of a job making the blond Beta hate him.

He flips the lightswitch, and the empty loft plunges into darkness. Despite everything that had happened, it looks like no one had ever been there at all. How he liked it. He tugged at his jacket, as he picked up his bag. Cora was waiting for him and he was already halfway out the door. But he lingered, brows drawing together, looking at the dark doorway. There was so much to leave behind.

Comments

[causticly]

The last few weeks had been something like a clusterfuck as far as Stiles is concerned. The sacrifices, finding out the Darach was his (hot) English teacher who had been boning their resident werewolf Alpha - which he's not even going to think about because that kind of hurts in a way he's not really ready to asses yet. He would rather ignore the problem until it went away. But he has a feeling it really won't.

Truth be told he's happier, more relieved, that he doesn't have to hide all this from his dad anymore. Sure, he still keeps secrets - what teenager doesn't? - but they're nothing of the wolfy variety, thankfully. Just normal teenage stuff. Like how he apparently has a massive boner for the guy he once accused of murder. Who was exonerated! He feels the need to point that out.

So when he heard from Scott, of all people, that Derek and Cora were skipping town he - he didn't know what to do. It wasn't a bad idea, really, considering Beacon Hills hasn't really done a whole lot for the Hale family. Honestly he doesn't even blame Derek for wanting to get the hell outta Dodge.

But... is he going to come back or is he gone for good? Without a trace. Not even a goodbye. And Stiles? No, Stiles won't stand for that. After all the bullshit they've been through, pulling each others asses out of the fire, at the very least Stiles thinks he deserves a fucking goodbye from Derek in person.

That's why the teenager is in his Jeep, which wasn't as trashed as he thought it was, and heading for the loft. Relief rushes through him when he sees the Toyota still sitting along the curb. He parks the jeep a few feet from it and just as he's getting out he sees the two Hales coming from the building. His heart races in his chest as he rushes over there.

"Derek!"

[tsunwolf]

He supposes he should have known that once he'd told McCall that this would happen. Easy stopped being easy once Stiles was there in his powder blue Jeep and yelling his name. It was selfish, but he hadn't wanted to do this. He'd wanted to slip away in the night, and not have to explain the why and especially not have to look into those brown eyes and say he wasn't coming back. There was a part of him that didn't trust his resolve to do what honestly seemed to be the right thing -- both for himself and for the people around him.

He takes a breath and waves Cora off to the car, telling her to give him a minute. She seems to have no problem leaving her older brother to deal with the teenager, tossing her bag in the back as she slips into the driver's seat. He cocks his head slightly as he looks the teen over -- in one piece, no bruises or oozing head wounds that he can see, at least. He refuses to address the fact of how much seeing Stiles safe through this actually means to him, same as he always has.

"I'm not staying."

Bag still in hand, reminding himself that there's nothing here for him, anymore. That everyone is better off if he leaves.

[causticly]

Stiles skids to a stop in front of Derek, giving Cora an awkward wave and watching as she rolls her eyes and gets in the car. He stands there for a moment, mouth opening to speak but Derek beats him to it. His lips thin a little as he glances down to the bag.

"So, what, not even a goodbye? See you later suckers? Deuces? What, nothing?" he asks, trying to keep the hurt, disappointment and anger from his voice. This is not how he saw this going. Sure, he didn't think Derek was going to drop everything and run into his arms like an teenage after school special or something, but he thought that maybe he might be able to convince Derek to stay.

"You'd rather just- just run away? How'd that work out for you the last time?" It's a low blow and he knows it, but he keeps the wince from his face. "You know you don't have to leave, right? I know you don't like the idea of Scott being your Alpha or something but... c'mon, it's not that bad, you know. He's getting better at it and it's like you guys want to become Omegas, right?

"Because I don't want that. I don't want that to happen to you, either of you, and I don't..." Stiles trails off and lets out a shaky breath. Definitely not how he saw this going in his head. "I don't... want you to leave."

[tsunwolf]

This wasn't how Derek saw this going either. He'd predicted he'd be a little hurt about Derek trying to slip off in the night, because Stiles was right, and they both knew it -- he had at least deserved a goodbye, if not an explanation. But there's anger too, and the intensity of it catches him off guard almost as much as the barb about running away. And then Stiles is telling him he doesn't have to leave. He's telling him he doesn't want him to leave and Derek quietly hates that the words mean anything to him at all.

"It's for the best. For everyone."

Stiles gets under his skin, because the teenager always does. There's annoyance, frustration, because he doesn't seem to understand that this is the best choice. No one here needs him. Scott's a True Alpha, and even if he's still young and inexperienced, Stiles is right; he's getting better, learning. He's not a bad Alpha. He's kept his Pack safe.

"Why would you possibly want me to stay, Stiles? Nothing good has come out of me being here."

At least, that's how it feels, even if it's maybe a slight exaggeration. Finding out about the link between Jennifer and Paige weighed heavier than he'd admit to. It was as if he'd somehow been responsible for her crusade, for the innocents she'd killed. There was so much responsibility and running away from it seemed the best choice.

"I can't protect anyone."

[causticly]

"No, it's what YOU think is best for everyone. That's not the same thing as what IS best," Stiles says, hands curling into fists at his side. "And that's not true, you know it isn't. I know that's what you think but it's not true. Sure, a lot of things would have been different if you hadn't come here. But Scott still would have been bitten, only he would still be Peter's Beta and god knows how he would have turned out. I could be dead by now, for all we know.

"The Alpha pack would have still showed up, Jennifer would still have come to town and- and... it would be worse if you never came back. You have to know that," Stiles says, willing Derek to believe him. "At least with you here we all stood a fighting chance."

He knows he still hasn't answered Derek why he wants him to stay, but Stiles is afraid of that. Afraid that if he tells him it won't mean anything and Derek will still leave and take Stiles' heart with him.

[tsunwolf]

It would be easier to blow him off, if Stiles didn't have a point. If he wasn't looking Derek in the eyes and saying that he knew the werewolf thought things would have been better without him, but that he was wrong. That if it wasn't for him, that Scott might not have turned out so well, or might have died. That Stiles could have died. He didn't want to admit how much he needed to hear the exact things coming from the teenager's mouth, but he did. There was a part of him that didn't want to leave, although ignoring that had been easy enough before Stiles had come running.

"Scott's an Alpha now. He'll be able to handle these things better. He's got his Pack, he doesn't need me."

And Derek didn't think he'd be able to answer to Scott as his Alpha. He still had his pride. Even if he stayed, he'd probably still be a lone wolf, at least somewhat. He'd help, of course. But much like Scott had never been able to just accept that he'd be better off as part of Derek's pack, Derek didn't think he'd be able to accept it either. But, he'd be here, and that would still be something.

"Why do you want me to stay?"

He's looking for an excuse to walk away, but Stiles makes it so damn difficult. Not as if the teenager has ever made his life easy.

[causticly]

"That doesn't mean you can't be part of his pack too, even just by association, maybe. Scott did it, right? True Alpha or not, back when he was just a Beta, he'd done fine on his own and helping you. It can be like that, this time."

In true Stiles fashion, he just doesn't know when to give up. Just because Derek can give up doesn't mean Stiles can.

And then, 'fuck it', he thinks and closes the distance between them. He tugs Derek in - the two nearly the same height - and crushes their lips together in a kiss. Regardless if Derek knows, he'll still get his heart broken. And better for Derek to know, to see there's still something waiting here for him, than for Stiles to regret not saying anything at all.

He's tired of regretting.

[tsunwolf]

It takes him by surprise when the teenager is suddenly moving in, and there's a moment where he's not sure what Stiles is intending; using Derek's own tactics and physically pushing him of something else. But then their mouths collide as Stiles drags him down into the kiss. It's an answer, if not the one he was expecting. He responds as soon as their lips touch, with a hint of a growl in the back of his throat. He catches a hand in Stiles' shirt, and there's a brief thought of pushing him away.

This is reckless, dangerous, everyone he cares about gets hurt or hurts the people he cares about and he can't stand the thought of that happening to Stiles. But this has been a long time coming, and somehow Stiles feels safe. He knows Stiles wouldd never hurt someone, but he's still worried that the boy will get hurt, but he still pulls him in a little closer. And that's about the moment both he realizes that stupid and selfish as it is, he's not leaving with Cora.

He wants to talk him out of it, tell him exactly how stupid getting involved with him is, even wanting him. But, for the moment at least, he can't stop kissing Stiles, lips warm. Stiles is always going to be Stiles, he can believe in that and not worry about this turning into another Kate, another Jennifer.

[causticly]

Relief rushes through Stiles like a current, almost overwhelming in its intensity. He opens up under Derek, slides his tongue out and pressing insistently into the other man's mouth to deepen the kiss. His arms loop around Derek's neck to pull him- himself- closer.

It's selfish of him, he knows, but he doesn't want Derek to leave- to leave him. He just doesn't. Derek belongs here, even if it winds up not being with him, but he does. And he needs Derek to see that.

A little groan escapes him, tongues winding together, but Stiles doesn't push for more than that, despite his body's desperate want for more. He won't do that to Derek. He's not like them, he won't ever be. Derek is someone to be cared for and cherished, not used the way they had used him.

[tsunwolf]

Derek meets Stiles' tongue with his own, letting him into his mouth, and there's honest desire there, in how his fingers hold Stiles close. It's an electric heat that snakes through him, curls in his chest and it makes his heartbeat quicken, raises his pulse at the feeling of how their mouths meet and melt together. Tongue sliding against Stiles', likes the way that he tastes, the way that the teen feels against him. Arms wrapping around his neck and he leans in, presses close.

He reaches out, his other hand moving up to cup at the back of Stiles' head, holding onto him. He did belong here, even if it was a hard thing to admit to after everything that had happened. And this, the warm feeling that curled inside of him as they kissed was surprisingly convincing. He'd had an awkward attraction to the teen for a while, even if he had about the worst way in the world of showing it. Of course there were no shortage of reasons to ignore it. But when Stiles kissed him it was hard to care about any of them.

Cora leaves him there after a while, and all Derek can do is pull back and huff a little in amusement. But he still holds him close, even as he looks into his brown eyes. It's not much of an attempt, really, but it's something. A warning that everything always goes wrong and Stiles feels so good.

"I'm not someone you should get involved with."

[causticly]

"No, probably not," Stiles murmurs after pulling back, something he was reluctant to do. "But I think we both know that I do a lot of things I shouldn't." There's a sly grin on his face as he leans in for another kiss, this one brief. Because they are standing in the middle of the sidewalk and anyone he knows - who knows his father, the Sheriff - could see them.

And while he doesn't care, the state of California does and the last thing he wants to do is get Derek in trouble for real. His hand slide from their perch around the man's neck down along his shoulders and over his chest, just because he can, before they settle at his waist.

He thumbs Derek's shirt as he ducks his head a little, somewhat shy despite the liplock they'd been buried in before. "But I want to anyway," he says, then clarifies, "get involved with you. I'm not- I know a lot of people see me as just a kid, probably you, too. But I'm not. We don't go through what we have the past year and come out the same as we went in."

[tsunwolf]

"I'm pretty sure you do things specifically because people tell you not to," he comments with a flick of his green eyes over the teenager. Then their lips touch, and it's brief, but it's warm and it reaffirms that tentative feeling that just maybe he can stay. That Stiles is right, and that he can help, he can at least try and make up for his mistakes.

He knows that he shouldn't be doing this, that there are laws about teenagers and older men, and that the Sheriff would very possibly shoot him. There's a low rumble in his chest as Stiles' hands slip down from around his neck, trailing over his chest before fingers curl at his waist.

He smirks with a shake of his head as Stiles admits it's a bad idea, but says he wants to anyway. He shifts his hand, stroking his thumb under the teenager's chin. He should be the adult here, should list all the reasons for why this is wrong and a terrible idea, but instead he's tilting his head up a little and then kissing him again.

It's slow, lingering, and punctuated with a slight nip of teeth at Stiles' bottom lip. His eyelashes flutter as his eyes look into the teen's. "I don't see you as a child." It does occur to him that they should stop kissing in the middle of a parking lot anyone could drive by, so he pulls back a little, dragging knuckles against the boy's cheekbone.

"You want to come up? I suppose I should put my things back."

[causticly]

"Well, yeah, probably," he admits, grinning and unashamed. Besides, how many times has him not doing something saved their lives? Exactly.

Stiles sighs into the kiss, fingers slipping just beneath the hem of his shirt to feel warm skin at his fingertips, a shiver rolling up his spine at the contact. He searches Derek's gaze to see whether or not he means that and is surprised to see he does. "Good, because a 'kid' wouldn't want to do the things to you that I do," he says, smirking a little as he pulls back when Derek does.

"Yeah, yeah I do," he says, licking his lips a little and feeling his heart quicken in his chest. Does this mean Derek's staying? For good? He could always still leave, Stiles knows that. Disappear into the night after he's left or something. But he hopes not, he really does. He hopes that Derek will stay, for a long, long time.

[tsunwolf]

There's a hum of warm pleasure as fingers slip under the thin cotton of the shirt that he's wearing. He can't help the smile, faint lift of an eyebrow at Stiles' claim, the way he hints at the things he wants to do to Derek. That is definitely not a conversation for standing in the parking lot, but it's absolutely one that he's going to push once they're up in the loft. Because he wants to know, wants to hear it.

"Come on," he says, pulling away to grab his bag off the ground and then tugging at the teen's hand as he headed back toward the building. There was a part of him that wanted to keep Stiles close, but he was ignoring it in favor of actually being able to navigate the stairs up to the loft.

[causticly]

His heart is like a hummingbird in his chest and he knows that Derek can hear it, too. Across his face is a too wide smile as he follows Derek back into the building and up the stairs to the loft. He thinks it's been a long time since he's been this happy over something so simple as being with someone he cares about, a lot if he's honest.

Once they're inside, Stiles slides the heavy metal door shut and then turns around to lean back against it. Then he reaches out and pulls Derek to him. "I'm glad you stayed. I know you didn't have to- that you don't have to. But I'm happy you did. Even if no one else does, I want you here with us." With me, he thinks but doesn't say.

[tsunwolf]

Stiles' heartbeat is racing, and it makes a thrill go through him as they head back into the building. The rapid racing beat of Stiles' heart makes him want to catch him and kiss him again here on the stairs, but he does have some self control. And Stiles is so ridiculously happy, smiling like a cat with a canary. It's infectious, though Derek settles for being quietly bemused as they make their way up to his loft.

They step inside, and he's hardly set his bag down when Stiles is reaching out and pulling Derek in against him. He lets him, leaning in, pressing up against him, head tilted down to look at the teen, his arms going around his waist. "I thought it would be better if I left. That doesn't mean that I wanted to."

He nuzzles in against Stiles' jaw for a moment, because this is nice, and the sky isn't falling around their heads. Yet, anyway.

[causticly]

"I know you did," he breathes out. Because he does, he gets it. So much death has followed Derek that it seemed easier, safer, if he'd just left. So he gets it, but that didn't mean he would have been happy with it. "And I'm glad you didn't want to, I'm glad you didn't leave."

Stiles tilts his head up against the nuzzling, letting out a quiet sigh as he feels stubble scrape gently along his jaw and cheek. He slides his hands up under Derek's shirt, fingers splayed along his back, pressing into warm skin.

And for the moment he just takes it in; the press of Derek against him, the warmth of his body along his own, how he feels under his hands and feels his eyes close as he memorizes this moment.

[tsunwolf]

It's strangely comforting to know that Stiles understands why he'd wanted to walk away, why he'd thought it would be better for everyone. There's so much darkness that always seems to chase after him, and there had been that thought that maybe it was him, that if he wasn't here these things wouldn't keep happening. "You were rather persuasive," he comments with a curl of his lips, words murmured into his skin.

There's a shiver in his shoulders as Stiles' hands snake up under his shirt, fingers pressing against his back. He likes the touch, the contact, and he likes the feeling of being wanted. Not because someone was trying to use him, but because Stiles wanted to be here with him.

He shifts and nips lightly at his jaw with a lazy smile. He likes how his skin feels under his teeth... not enough to hurt, he's careful, but it still rises a rumble of contentment in his chest. His hands shifting to slide up Stiles' chest, feeling skin through fabric and there's a thought that this would be better without shirts in the way.

[causticly]

He can make this a good place, he thinks, if Derek lets him. He can give the man something good, something worth while. And he wants to, he realizes, god does he want to.

"I was, wasn't I?" He teases, grinning softly. He arches into the touch, groaning and can't help but look over Derek's shoulder to the bed on the other side of the room. Pulling away, Stiles grins as he ducks between Derek and the door and moves into the open area of the first level.

Then he turns and begins walking backward. Toward the bed. Stiles tugs his shirt off and drops it to the floor. Then toes off one shoe, then the other. Then his socks, leaving a trail of clothes for Derek to follow.

[tsunwolf]

He wants to let him. He wants Stiles, wants him here, wants to explore whatever is between them, find out what he'd stayed for. It hadn't been just the kiss, but it had mattered, and Stiles is still here, with him, and he wants him, and that's enough reason to stay for the moment.

He lets Stiles pull away, turning to watch him, and his breath catches as the teenager is moving back to the bed, stripping slowly, and Derek can't stop watching. He's staring, and it only takes a moment before he's following, stripping out of his shirt and his shoes, leaving his clothes to mix with the brown eyed devil's.

Stiles wasn't a child. No child could make that look so carelessly seductive. He left Derek unable to do anything except follow him, heat and arousal sparking inside of him.

He wanted to feel, wanted Stiles.

[causticly]

His pulse picks up even more the moment Derek starts toward. His whole body is thrumming with excitement watching the man stalk toward him. His hands move to his jeans, popping the button and tugging down the zipper, the sound loud in the otherwise quiet room.

He does it slowly, slides the material down his hips and thighs, letting them pool at his feet as he steps out of them. Then he's falling back onto Derek's soft bed in just his boxers, slightly tented with his arousal, and moves back toward the center of it.

[tsunwolf]

He follows him like he's unwilling to let Stiles get too far away, although he pauses to enjoy the sight of it as Stiles takes off his jeans. The pop of the button and the click of his zipper, and then his green eyes follow the fabric as it slides down his hips and thighs, falling around his ankles. He can scent his arousal and it makes his eyes close for a moment, just breathing it in. With the clothes stripped away, he's intoxicating. Not just the scent, but the lines of his body, the muscle he's put on in the past year.

Derek smiles, thumbing open the buttons of his denims, shoving them down off his hips, kicking them down to his ankles so he can join Stiles on the bed. He's in just a pair of black boxerbriefs, and Stiles isn't the only one with an erection. He leans in, brushing a hand against the teen's chest with a tilt of his head as he watches him. He doesn't think he wants to let him go until at least morning.

Somehow, there's this good feeling, warmth and being close to him and he wants to hold onto that.

[causticly]

Stiles arches up into the touch, breaths in, shaky with arousal. He's never been touched like this before - not even during the short time he'd been with Heather before she'd been taken. This... this is all new territory for him.

And he wants it, god he wants it.

Reaching up, Stiles slides his hands along Derek's bare chest, feeling hard muscle beneath soft, warm and unmarred skin. His fingers skate over nipples as he drags them down along his stomach to tease across the top of his briefs, groaning at the sight of the man's cock tenting the fabric.

Slowly, he drags his touch further down to tease his fingers along the hard line of it and can't help the way his own hips tip upward in response.

[tsunwolf]

His fingers slide up, slowly exploring the pale skin bared to his gaze. His thumb traces along his collarbone with just a hint of flat, human nails, fingers sliding up along his shoulders. There's a low murmur as Stiles' hands move over Derek's chest, and there's a tremble that shakes through his spine as thin fingertips brush over his nipples, pulling a hint of a moan from his mouth.

His hips jerk as Stiles' fingers brush at the top of his underwear. And that groan that he makes has Derek leaning in, kissing him as if it's something he can devour. There's an edge of heat, of desire and want as he kisses him. Stiles' fingers tease down his cock, and he's moaning against his mouth, his hips jerking into the contact.

One hand slips away from skin, to instead tease at the band of his boxers, slipping fingertips inside, between skin and fabric, and dragging that touch low across his stomach, just shy of his erection. He wanted Stiles, just wanted to feel him, smell him, taste him.

It had been a long time since he'd been so overwhelmed, but it had been a long time since he'd felt real desire.

[causticly]

"Oh god," he mumbles out, groaning at Derek's reaction, the way his hips jerk into the contact, his own pressing up into the man's teasing fingers. God, it's going to drive him nuts, he's sure.

He moans into the kiss and palms Derek's cock a little more firmly, fingers fitting around the outline of it as he strokes slowly up and down, his own rising to Derek's teasing fingers, wanting to feel that warm hand wrapped around him, touching him.

He wants Derek, and not just for right now. But he'll want him tomorrow and the next day and the day after, and a week from now, two weeks, a month and three months from now. He thinks he'll want Derek always.